Minsan hindi ko talaga mapigilan maisip kung anong mangyayari sa art venture ko. Gusto kong isipin na ginagawa ko lang sya for fun. As a creative outlet kasi talagang meron akong satisfaction na nararamdaman pag nakaka-create ako ng something na matino. Kaso pag may nakikita ako na super successful sa creative business nila, gusto ko din maging ganun. So parang nap-pressure ako. Hanggang sa hindi na sya nagiging fun. Lagi akong naghahanap ng validation at nagiisip ng iba-ibang ways para masabi kong “I made it!”
Since wala akong magawa ngayon kahit nasa office ako at kelangan kong magtrabaho, nagbabasa-basa ako ng articles. Tapos may nabasa ako about sa “the gig economy”. About sa mga solo entrepreneurs. May na-mention about people na nagsimula sa hobby lang tapos super successful na ngayon. Bigla kong na-imagine kung pano kaya kung ako yun. Tapos di ako natuwa dun sa thought. Parang na-imagine ko na super busy ko tapos hindi na ako nag-eenjoy sa ginagawa ko kasi para sa clients lang lahat ng ginagawa ko. Imbis na ma-motivate ako dun sa article, parang nagka-urge ako na magslow down. Na wag i-pressure ang sarili ko na maging successful. Na truly i-enjoy ko na lang tong creative side ko. Yung impulses ko na “Sana dumami ang clients ko!” is nag-fade. Tingin ko good thing to sakin. Kase minsan yung utak ko hindi ko na ma-control parang and dami masyadong iniisip na hindi naman ganun ka-importante. Kaya siguro gustong gusto ko laging madistract kase kung hindi parang mababaliw ako. Non-stop kasi talaga ang utak ko sobrang sobrang dami kong iniisip mapa-past, present or future. Ang dami kong opinyon sa mga bagay-bagay at ang dami ko masyadong feelings. Overthinking to the max talaga. Kelangan ko na siguro talaga ng meditation.
More than 3 months na kami dito sa Winnipeg. So far, so good. Kanina lang, may friend na nagtanong sakin (si Gel) kung naho-home sick daw ba ko and kung well-adjusted na kami dito. Matagal ko na tong napansin sa sarili ko (siguro mga 1-2 months pa lang kami dito), na hindi ako naho-home sick. Halos walang feeling na “Huhuhu gusto ko nang umuwi.” Ang super nahihirapan lang ako, until now, is yung sepanx ko kay Almond (our cat). Para kasi talaga namin syang baby. Pareho kaming first time pet owners at that time. Super naiintindihan ko na sila kung bakit ganun nila ka-love mga alaga nila. As in ngayon ko lang to naramdaman. Yung pag nags-send ng mga pics and videos si Aryen natutuwa ako but at the same time sobrang nalulungkot. Gusto ko sya mahawakan at makiss. Kung uuwi man kami ng Pilipinas (kung kelan man yun), isa si Almond sa pinaka unang agenda. Miss na miss ko na talaga sya. Hays.
Pero bukod kay Almond, I’m actually doing okay. Sabi ko nga dun sa friend ko, siguro dahil sinet ko ng tama yung expectations ko. Bago kami pumunta dito, expected ko na na malayo ako sa family, na once every X years lang kami makakauwi, na hindi mga Pinoy ang katrabaho ko so kelangan mag-adjust sa culture, na malamig dito, etc. So pagpunta namin dito, naka-mind set na ko sa mga yun. Bukod sa 95% ng family ko at 100% ng friends ko ay nasa Pilipinas at iba pang countries other than Canada, may mga certain things pa din na mas better satin kesa dito; katulad ng mga restaurants. Mas madaming choices satin. Dito halos puro fastfood. Tapos yung mga malls. Ang malls dito meh. Satin pagandahan, pasosyalan. Pero wala namang perfect place. Kailangan lang ng tamang attitude towards change. At based sa pagwe-weigh in ko ng mga bagay bagay, ito na talaga yung pipiliin ko. Sana maconvice ko din ang family ko na mag-stay dito.
Ang bilis lumipas ng araw. Lalo na nung nag-start akong magtrabaho. Ang bilis mag-Friday. Sana laging ganun para feeling ko mabilis lang din lumipas ang work days.
Gusto ko nang maka-ipon. Para makapag-travel. Isa yun sa mga goals ko talaga. Makapag-travel kung saan saan. Ang ganda kasi ng effect nya sa well-being ko. Lalo na dito na kami nakatira sa Winnipeg. Sobrang refreshing siguro mag-travel sa magagandang lugar at interesting places. Wala kasi dito masyado mapuntahan. If I’m being honest, mas maganda pa sa Taguig kesa dito. 😄 Pero sa Taguig, forever kaming magre-rent. Dito makakabili kami ng bahay in 1-2 years (if I’m being optimistic).
Saturday ngayon. Napansin ko na naka-earphones ako pero wala namang music. *plays music* Nanonood lang ako ng Netflix kanina hanggang sa nakatulog na ko. Sinimulan ko sa Dynasty, tapos inulit ko yung first 2 episodes ng Girlboss. Tapos balak ko panoorin mamaya ay The Office. Hindi ko na maalala kung san ako natapos sa The Office kasi simula nung nawala si Michael Scott, medyo nawalan ako ng interest sa kanya. Pero matatapos ko din yun in time. *munimuni ends*
I just noticed (my aunt and uncle noticed it too), during these past few months in Canada, that I had been quite lucky. Here’s a couple of lucky things that happened:
We went to the casino and I won $100 playing Blackjack. I had gambling issues and used to go to casinos all by myself. But that was before and I stopped gambling ultimately when I had my losing streak. So when we went to this casino, I was playing just for fun. I wasn’t even playing my own money. My uncle gave us $20 each. When I won $10, I was planning on stopping. But I decided to just continue and didn’t care if I lose. But then I didn’t. 😉
We were shopping in this store and I bought some stuff and this nice (pricey) wrap-around jacket that’s perfect for fall. Only I didn’t buy it. When I checked the receipt, the salesperson didn’t scan the tag on the jacket so I got it for free. I know that wasn’t the right thing to do; but I am jobless and a person who sometimes gets tempted so…
After just a month here, I already got a job. It was only a 2-month placement so it isn’t really something that’s permanent but still, that was pretty lucky. Unfortunately, I was having some health issues and I’m sorry, no disrespect, but I just loathe the job. I will certainly miss the residents and most of them are sweet but that’s just isn’t enough for me to stay.
So after working there for 2 weeks, I quit and hope that I will immediately find another job. And luckily, after a couple of weeks, I received several interview invitations. Then I got interviewed for this certain position (which is kind of similar to my previous job back home) and got an offer a few days after the interview. I was sooo happy and was jumping for joy nonstop. But that’s not it! It was a double entendre because not only I got hired, they hired me for a higher position! Which means higher salary! I can’t help but smile thinking about it.
Over to Dust Designs news (my graphic art business), I just got a client who needed some tags and things for her wedding. So I am currently working on it and like how things are going.
I almost forgot the iPad. It wasn’t totally free because the bank let me chose if I’d want to have free monthly banking fees for a year or I’ll pay the monthly fees but I’ll get an iPad. I chose the latter because I’m planning to get an iPad anyway so it’s like I’m paying it in installments. Apparently, “24-month installment for zero interest!” is not a thing here. So that worked out. Also, the bank manager offered us free monthly fees for the first 2 months. So it’s like I got a discounted, 10 months to pay iPad. Yes!
Also, I get to experience snow. I consider that lucky because not everyone has the chance to experience snow. 😊
And that was it! I should be happy but… No wait, I am happy. But I am also worried. I’m worried that something unlucky will happen because of all these lucky-ness. I will be watching out.
Nakakainis hindi na ko nagb-blog! 😭 Dami ko na nami-miss i-document. So andito na kami sa Winnipeg. Eto na mga nagawa namin and other highlights:
Nakakita na ko ng snow! Haha. Nasa eroplano kami tapos malapit na mag-land, kita ko yung mga bundok may snow sa tuktok. Yun na yun 😅 (sa Vancouver to)
Walang mga tinanong samin na kahit ano pagdating namin Winnipeg. Kala ko ang daming tanong para sa mga new immigrants. Wala. Aside lang dun sa usual na birthday and stuff. Kala ko tatanungin bakit di kami same ng last names ni Kenneth, kung tama ba yung amount na dinala naming pera, kung anong nasa maleta at boxes na dala namin, etc. Pero wala. Ang dali lang nya.
Sa Pilipinas kami nahirapan. Muntik na kaming hindi makaalis! 😂 Meron kasing nire-require and PH government na pre-arrival seminar for new immigrants. Wala akong idea na may ganun. Nahara kami sa immigration tapos pinapunta kami dun sa booth na nag-iisue nung required na sticker (as proof na umattend ka nung seminar na yun). Medyo nagpapakipot pa si aleng sticker hindi daw talaga kami makakaalis ng wala yun. Dapat daw kasi binabasa namin lahat yung documents na binigay samin nung inissue yung Canadian visas namin. Pinakita nya sakin kung san naka-indicate, talagang hindi ko nga nabasa. Hanggang sa nakatulala na lang ako sa kanya hindi ako umiimik. Hindi din ako umaalis kahit sinasabi nyang hindi daw talaga pwede ng wala yun. Tapos parang miracle, biglang pumayag na din sya nung huli. Ang taray nung una pero patawa-tawa na nung huli. Iniisip ko nga baka naghihintay lang ng lagay. Hay salamat!!!
Pagdating namin sa baggage carousel, nakita ko na agad sina Kuya Jon2. Una kong nainom sa Winnipeg ay Tim Horton’s na kape. 😄
Sa first day namin, kumuha na kami ng SIN and Manitoba Health Card (kahit daw magpa-opera na ako ng gallstones ko ngayon walang problema). And dali lang din wala nang kung ano-anong requirements. Hindi din ganun katagal ang pila. Nakakatuwa.
Tapos nung weekend, pumunta lang kaming mall tapos kumain sa buffet and Jollibee. Mas masarap ang chicken joy dito at mas malaki. Pero mas masarap ang burger steak sa Pinas.
Feeling ko super tataba ako dito. Daming masasarap na food parang feeling ko kailangan ko matikman lahat. Nag-Costco kami kahapon nakakaoverwhelm yung mga bagong food na nakikita ko. Tapos sabi pa nung tito ko, “Kumuha ka lang ng gusto mo wag ka nang mahiya.” Eh di kumuha nga ako 😂😂😂
Nakakatuwa din yung mga itlog dito; may expiration date na naka-tatak sa bawat eggs
Ano pa ba. Sobrang sarap nung cookies na Kirkland (from Costco din). Kinonvert ko, 15 pesos lang isa tapos super sarap! Pinaghalong lasa ng cookies sa SB at M&S. Saraaap.
Summer “daw” ngayon pero ang highest temp today ay 19 °C at ang lowest ay 10 . Wow. Pano pa kaya sa mga susunod na linggo. 😭
Nakapag-open na din kami ng bank account. Nakakabano. Pag nag-open ka ng account, walang initial deposit walang maintaning balance. Nag-open kami tapos yun na yun, $0 ang laman ng account namin 😄 Tapos may free na iPad pag nag-open ng account. Anong klase kaya yun hahaha. Ang pangit lang, may monthly fee ang bangko dito. $15 per month. Boo!
Ang mahal ng parking. Tapos pag nag-park ka, kailangan mo na i-set kung ilang oras ka lang pa-park. 250-300 pesos ang 3 hours tapos babayaran mo na agad. Pag 1 hour ka lang nakapag-stay, wala nang balikan ng pera. Boo ulit!
May pinuntahan kaming isang government office na nagbibigay ng funding for education. Gusto ko kasi nga mag-aral ulit para makapag-work ako dito ng matino-tinong trabaho. Yung mga above $15 per hour sana. Sana ma-approve ako dun sa grant. Laking tulong nun.
Naka-schedule na kami ng Manitoba Start (orientation program for new immigrants) sa August 27. Yun yung earliest available schedule kaya may kulang kulang 2 weeks kaming walang gagawin. Gusto ko sana mag-ikot pero parang wala gaanong mapuntahan dito. Merong iba pero malayo eh hindi pa pwedeng mag-drive si Kenneth. Ayaw pa ng Kuya Jon2. Hindi makapasa 😂 Di naman sya makaangal haha. Kung sa iba yun buringot na yun.
Para sa friends ni Kenneth, nagbook kami thru Airbnb ng place sa Tagaytay. Maganda yung room pero mahal. For me mahal. Sabi nila mura na kasi 9 pax kami tapos 10k yung accommodation. Syempre hindi ako gagastos ng ganun kalaki. Eh may Airbnb coupon kasi ako na worth 9k so 1k plus na lang binayaran namin. Hehehe.
Naglaro lang sila Xbox most of the time tapos naginom na nung gabi. The next day, may booking naman kami sa Narra Hill. Advance 2nd wedding anniversay celebration namin. Super ganda nung place. Nature trip. Naka-set na yung expectation na walang WiFi and walang TV. Wala naman problema kasi sobrang nakakarefresh yung lugar. Kahit 1 night lang kami dun nabitin kami. Ang ganda ng view nung room namin, masarap food nila, mababait sina ate tapos tahimik lang. Ang sobrang gusto ko sa place nila, paglabas ng room amoy fresh flowers. Parang naka-air freshener yung buong Narra Hill. Ang magical feeling ko may mga fairies na lalabas.
Nung next weekend naman, sa mga friends ko naman. Pero dito lang sa Lucena, videoke lang. After ng 3 hours namin sa Welkin Tower, lumipat na kami kila Benson. Tapos biglang nagpauso si Benson ng mga message-message saming dalwa ni Kenneth. Tapos sobrang natouch ako kasi naiiyak si Benson. Tapos nag-take turns sila sa mga messages nila sakin. Lahat sila umiyak (except Xali) nung nagbibigay na sila ng message sakin. Sobrang napa-aww naman ako dun. Huhu.
Ayoko pa din masyadong isipin ang magiging future namin dun sa Canada. Nakaka-overwhelm kasi isipin. Basta ang iniintindi ko lang eh yung mga dapat namin gawin like magpapalit ng dollar, mag-empake, etc. Pero yung mismong iisipin ko yung pag dun na kami nakatira, na wala kami friends dun at konti lang ang family namin dun, nakaka-sad. Mapapaisip ka for a split second kung talaga bang tutuloy kami dun. Talagang tutuloy naman kami syempre at resigned na kami pareho at kung ano-anong preparation na ginawa namin. Pero di mo lang maiwasan na indi maisip yung mga ganun. Scary talaga ganun talaga.
Yesterday was my last day of work. So what I did was:
Went to the office to return company assets and my ID
Tagged along with my previous teammates to watch Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
Got my hair chopped (thinking of dyeing it as well)
Got my pits sugared
Hugged my office mates goodbye
Had dinner with Kenneth at Rice & Dough
Then we went home. It was raining hard. When we got home, I felt weird that I didn’t need to login to my laptop to work. I felt weird that I don’t see my office laptop anymore in our room. It was really an uneasy feeling — up until now. It’s uncomfortable but exciting at the same time — because I could do anything now! There’s just a lot of possibilities.
For today, I’m thinking of cooking Kenneth’s dinner later. I’ve also been meaning to start working again on the wedding invitation project. I hope I’ll be productive today because recently, I have the tendency to just lie around and watch YouTube videos all day long. Or I’ll just lie in bed thinking of the things that I should do but actually doing nothing. Until it gets dark and it’s time to go to sleep. Another day wasted.
I just remembered that I had to pack some orders from my online shop. Brb.
I’m reading quite a lot now ever since I got my new Kindle. It’s my Christmas gift to myself. I’m so in love with it. It’s easy on the eyes and the battery lasts for weeks. I’m (still) currently reading A Storm of Swords. The Red Wedding just happened. Catelyn’s death was quite different from the series. In the book, her face was attacked by ravens and she was laughing. Weird.
I just finished a new series called The End of the F***ing World. It was weird as well but very entertaining. I even shed a few tears on a couple of episodes. I love weird characters. They’re very interesting to watch and they make you think a lot. I feel like painting Alyssa. The girl protagonist. So the series is about an angsty teenage girl (Alyssa) who has this idea of potentially falling in love with this another weird kid in school after saying to his face that he’s a shitty skater (an odd way to start a relationship). And a psychopathic teenage boy who wants to upgrade from killing animals to killing people. And his first target? Alyssa. Twisted, I know. A romantic black comedy. I love it.
I started having diet meals delivered to me again. One, because I want to eat healthy. And two, because I’m lazy. It’s quite expensive but it’s healthy, delicious, and worry-free.
My head hurts. I got super annoyed earlier then I felt pain at the back of my head. I need to be more insensitive.
Days ago, I figured something about myself that I do not like. It’s either I think too far ahead or I dwell too much in the past. It’s like I’m forgetting to live in the present which makes me out of focus. I want to change that.
I’ve been meaning to do this kind of post to just put everything that I want to remember for 2017 in a nugget. So here it is:
Spent the New Year with F Buddies at our place. My parents were pretty strict back then; even after I graduated college. So having my friends over for a drinking session for the very first time was very unusual and memorable for me.
Jen, our previous LNC teammate, was back from Abu Dhabi (or was it Dubai?) and so we got together and went to our favorite spot (Rue Bourbon). It was another rare occasion.
Summer was spent with friends at a private resort. Loads of fun.
After 8 years, I finally went back to Singapore! Singapore was my first out of the country experience. It was 2011 and Nick, Xali, and I were fresh grads when we decided to try our luck to work there as nurses. We were there for three weeks and stayed not at a hotel but at Xali’s uncle’s apartment so we kind of felt like a true local. I enjoyed every minute of it. We did our own laundry, bought groceries, cooked almost everyday, watched a movie (my first 3D movie), played the lottery, etc. I even learned how to ride a bike there. So when I had the chance to go back to Singapore to visit Kenneth’s dad, I was really really excited.
Tricia, our youngest sibling, graduated from college. Our parents’ pride and relief were pretty apparent since all four of us were already finished with school. Finally.
Our dear grandfather passed away. I get teary eyed thinking about it now. We loved him so much and we extremely miss him everyday. 😔
Our relatives from the UK had a 1-month vacation here in the Philippines. Our cousins grew up so tall and cute and lovely. I miss them so bad.
We got married again, at a church this time. It was a bittersweet moment because our grandfather just passed away. It felt wrong having to celebrate our wedding when we were still mourning.
Attended 3 weddings and 1 christening this year
This was the year of “artventure”. I rekindled my passion for art and experimented with watercolor, digital design, and calligraphy. I missed being in a school-like setting so attending those art workshops were really fun and refreshing.
Celebrated Miguel’s 7th birthday, our cutest cousin yet. I’m still hoping for a baby boy from Ate Beng2.
DIY takoyaki at some resto and tried making homemade gyoza but failed. It was bland.
Went back to Japan (my favorite country) with Nick, Benson, Bryan and Irving. I feel like I would never get tired of this country. There’s just so much to see and explore! They have the most helpful and friendliest people ever. I purchased my first professional watercolors here as well.
Discovered I have gall stones. Boo!
We had our so-called honeymoon in Korea. It was our first time there and it was an extremely cold November (as low as 6 °C). It was a fresh experience but we can’t help but compare it to Japan. And there was a time when we got really mad at each other and separated for a while. So for me, memories of Korea were not that enjoyable. But I got to experience autumn (one of the things in my bucket list). It was breathtaking. ❤️
I sold my first artwork! It was very satisfying. I’m really proud of myself and I’m so excited where this artventure takes me.
Had our F Buddies Christmas Party/open forum. Everybody cried except Xali (boringgg 😂). I think I’ll reserve another post detailing the events and explaining why there was a lot of crying involved.
I got a Kindle for Christmas! It doesn’t get here until mid-January though.
Isabelle and Illysa, our cute cousins, hosted our 2017 Slumber Party. It was amusing how the two sisters really prepared for the party (prepared the plan of activities, invitations, balloons, snacks). Activities involved were a modeling showdown, watching a scary movie (but we ended up watching their parents’ wedding), blind makeover challenge, sharing secrets, etc. The party ended after the blind makeover game when Illysa cried because her makeup was “ugly”. It was still a lot of fun and I can’t wait for next year’s slumber party. They keep me young.