Nosebleed * Potential First Day

Nino-nose bleed ako dito sa Canada. As in literal na nosebleed. Nung una di ko pinapansin pero nung dumadalas sinearch ko na kay bff Google. Ayun na nga. Gawa daw sa dry at malamig na hangin. Nothing to worry naman daw. Pero iniisip ko kung bibili akong humidifier. Samantalang dati dehumidifier ang binibili namin kasi masyadong humid sa loob ng apartment ang daling masira at mabulok ng mga pagkain. Dito kahit ilang araw nasa pantry ang ulam hindi napapanis. Amazing.

Start na ko bukas sa trabaho pero hanggang ngayon, ayoko pa din i-assume na totoo na talaga. Kahit pumirma na ko at lahat, parang ayaw ko pa din maniwala. Ayaw ko kase madisappoint kaya naiisip ko lahat ng possibilities. Na baka nagkamali lang sila tapos pagdating ko dun biglang, “I’m sorry but I don’t see your name in our list.” Ay baka mamura ko siya. Pero Tagalog para di nya gets. Kaya bukas, maniniwala lang ako na tanggap na talaga ko pag andun na ko sa mismong loob at nagsisimula na ang training. Hay sana talaga. Excited na talaga ko sumweldo.

These past few days ako ay iritable sa isang person na to kaya gustong gusto ko na mag-blog para maglabas ng sama ng loob. Nakakatulong kasi talaga. Di ko kasi magets personality nya parang aning. Kahit matagal-tagal na din kaming friends (frenemy?) para talaga syang ewan. Pero ang maganda naman, naka-move on na ko. Kaya parang di ko na feel i-kwento ang mga nangyari. Basta ako ay looking forward bukas at sa future.

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Art Day Fun Day + I’ll Be Careful on October 2020

I originally wanted to study Interior Design (Accountancy being the runner up) but ended up studying Nursing to grant my family’s wishes. I can’t study Interior Design anyway since I already made up my mind that I won’t study in Manila because of my then boyfriend (LDR issues). Love can really be limiting sometimes. I took up nursing to please my parents but mainly to challenge myself because they all said that Nursing is a very difficult course. I wanted to prove to them that I can do it and that I can easily pass the board exam (puro yabang). And pass I did. But who am I kidding, really.  Joke’s on me because I could have studied something that I really wanted but I ended up studying something else.

Even if being a nurse delayed my plans to pursue my true love (being artsy and creative), I didn’t regret it. I didn’t regret the people that I met and the experience of working in a hospital. But I promised myself that that would be the last time I will listen to other people on what I should and shouldn’t do; the last time that I will let my ego take the best of me just to prove to other people that I can do this and that, even if those things doesn’t really interest me.

That’s a long intro. I just wanted to share what happened last week. 😄 I attended a free workshop from Valerie Chua (one of my inspirations) called Essential Watercolor Tricks. I felt so lucky to be a part of that workshop. She’s really good in explaining the step by step process, plus I like that she’s kind of “kalog” as well which made her less intimidating. Then I was able to meet Abbey Sy too (another inspo)! It was a great event and I received a lot of freebies. Hihi. But the main highlight is really being able to meet Valerie and learning from her. She even replied to my IG story thanking me for being there at the event. *kilig* Okay, that’s enough fan girling.

So after that event in Shang, we (Kenneth) went straight to Burgos Circle to attend another workshop (not free). It’s about brush calligraphy this time and it’s with Paolo Tugano. We (Dyn) were able to learn a different font (he corrected me and said that the correct term is letter form, not font). One activity that I suggested is I’ll write a quote using my own style and layout then he’ll rewrite it using his own style. Here’s his creation:

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My favorite quote at the moment

He was so good. I didn’t even bother to take a picture of what I did. 😅 But Art Day Fun Day didn’t stop there. Out last stop is at BGC Art Mart to checkout some handmade goodies. Booths lined up with artists selling their creations (shirts, toys, paintings, etc.). I bought some cute washi tapes for my journal.

Something else happened. Right in the middle of my watercolor workshop, I felt this stinging pain in my right upper abdomen. I just kept ignoring it because I’m having a hard time focusing on what Valerie is trying to teach us. I figured I was just hungry because the only thing I ate is a hotdog and a bite of brownie and it’s already 4PM. I asked Kenneth to buy me shawarma. I didn’t wait until the end of the workshop to eat it, thinking that food will relieve the pain. We came home at around 9PM and the pain is still there. Before sleeping, I rubbed some Vicks (naturally 😂) on my belly and tried to sleep the pain away. When I woke up in the morning, the first thing I noticed is that the pain is still there. I’m beginning to worry because I’ve never experience this before. I knew something was wrong.

I asked Kenneth to bring me to the ER so I can have an ultrasound and get this thing diagnosed. Turns out, I have calculus gallbladder (stones in my gallbladder). Another surgery? Please, not again! I underwent bilateral oophorecystectomy (December 2016) and open appendectomy (April 2015) already. Please please I don’t want another surgery. But unfortunately, I have no other choice. The only treatment for gall stones is to remove my gallbladder. I felt really sad and started to pity myself. I was like, “Ang weak ko. Feeling ko mabilis akong mamamatay kase andaming aberya ng katawan ko, kung ano-anong tumutubo sa loob.” But talking to Arien turned out to be therapeutic. She told a story about their 90-year old patient who underwent a lot of surgeries in her lifetime. The patient even joked, “Wala na nga akong lamang loob.” That made me chuckle and made me feel a bit better. I’m planning to have the surgery done on January next year. Hays.

I also discovered something really weird. I checked out the “On This Day” section of my Facebook and I saw that:

  • Oct 22, 2011 – I discovered that I needed to wear eyeglasses. Okay sure, no biggie. But I still find it a hassle wearing glasses.
  • Oct 22, 2014 – I posted a photo of myself showing my stitched wound that I got from a snatcher’s knife. Still the most traumatizing thing that ever happened to me.
  • Oct 22, 2017 – Yesterday. The day I found out that I need another surgery. Grrr!

These dates are exactly 3 years apart. I’m beginning to think what will happen to me on October 2020. This coincidence is so weird and scary!